Some days I feel like a juggler who is constantly dropping a ball (or two). While I love our life right now, there is a recuring stress in the back of my mind about how I feel like I am short-changing the girls because I can't give all 3 of them what I think they need. Each of them is different and needs something different from me, and yet I feel like I'm constantly "choosing" which one to give my attention to...and it stinks! Corinne is probably the most "needy" right now because she can do, say, understand and communicate so much. She is two and with that has come tears and meltdowns when life is frustrating for her, such as when she can't get the dress off her princess doll or she has trouble getting her shoe on. In her young life she has spent countless hours in my lap reading books and being cuddled and so now she knows the difference when my lap is unavailable or already taken. It makes me sad and frustrated sometimes. And then there's the twins, who are pretty low maintenance compared to Little C. Except that they have to eat every few hours...which can lead back to Corinne's frustrations at times. But even with the twins, I feel that tension, too. For instance Ellen is so content to sit and watch that she gets left to do just that at times. Sophie seems to be the "squeaky wheel". Not enough of me to go around. So I do the best I can and in the meantime I'm hoping that I become a better juggler as time goes on.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Juggling
Some days I feel like a juggler who is constantly dropping a ball (or two). While I love our life right now, there is a recuring stress in the back of my mind about how I feel like I am short-changing the girls because I can't give all 3 of them what I think they need. Each of them is different and needs something different from me, and yet I feel like I'm constantly "choosing" which one to give my attention to...and it stinks! Corinne is probably the most "needy" right now because she can do, say, understand and communicate so much. She is two and with that has come tears and meltdowns when life is frustrating for her, such as when she can't get the dress off her princess doll or she has trouble getting her shoe on. In her young life she has spent countless hours in my lap reading books and being cuddled and so now she knows the difference when my lap is unavailable or already taken. It makes me sad and frustrated sometimes. And then there's the twins, who are pretty low maintenance compared to Little C. Except that they have to eat every few hours...which can lead back to Corinne's frustrations at times. But even with the twins, I feel that tension, too. For instance Ellen is so content to sit and watch that she gets left to do just that at times. Sophie seems to be the "squeaky wheel". Not enough of me to go around. So I do the best I can and in the meantime I'm hoping that I become a better juggler as time goes on.
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4 comments:
I stumbled across your blog by complete accident, but am glad I did. I do not have twins, but do have a 2 1/2 year old and an 8 week old. I feel the same way, I constantly feel guilty that I am not able to give my oldest enough attention right now. He also has constant melt downs and I always wonder if there is something I could do to change this behavior. It sure is a challenge right now, but it is also very rewarding! Good luck to you and your family!
You are doing a fantastic job in your role as "Mommy". Don't be discouraged. This is all so normal. If it were easy for you ... something would definitely not be right. :)
Bets,
By all accounts you are doing an amazing job and, most importantly, the girls are all doing fantastic. You're right: There's only one of you to go around and none of the girls will always have 100% of your attention. But keep in mind that the ideal you are striving for and comparing yourself to simply isn't attainable -- in any family, not only yours.
Each of your girls is so, so loved by you and Brett, and is surrounded by the love of others and plenty of wonderful attention. They are already thriving and I know they will continue to do so.
I love you,
Marce
It seems like you are juggling it pretty well. All the girls are doing fine. Be sure to take care of yourself too. I know easy for me to say. The funny thing is I feel like I'm juggling too. All the time. Never sitting still, always something to be done, something not to be forgotten. It's not kids I'm juggling, but I'm empathizing.
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